Mondays...Mondays really have been hard lately and I don't know why. They never used to bother me, but for whatever reason, I've realized over the last several weeks that I'm mega grumpy on Mondays. I know my awesome husband has been praying extra for me on Mondays, and I'm so appreciative. I think it's partly due to being with Daddy all weekend and all of us missing him when he goes back to work.
This Monday wasn't too bad until the afternoon, and then it was just...blah. I let it get the best of me and broke a promise to myself and didn't get the living room picked up before my husband came home from work. My husband's job is loud and messy, and he's let me know that it's really hard to relax on his time off when the house is the same (or worse...which is very possible with several small children and a wife who struggles with the housekeeping part of being a sahm). I have been trying to get the living room picked up before he gets home for the past few months to bless him and serve him, but Monday I didn't even try. I just felt blah and I let it dictate my afternoon and his evening. At bedtime, as he kicked a toy he'd just stepped on, he vented his frustration a little to me. I failed him and I was sorry.
Tuesday I did a much better job picking up, but Tuesday was Monday 2.0 in its own way. Tuesday my patience appeared to be on vacation. According to my 7 year old's dictionary, patience is "the ability to remain calm when dealing with a difficult or annoying situation, task, or person". My 2 year old was deep into the "Terrible Two's" yesterday. He kept hitting and laying on his older sister and me, and tried to crawl on his baby sister. He was pushing all my buttons and he was unrelenting in it. As much as I tried, I couldn't channel Michelle Duggar (bless her for sharing her whisper instead of yell tip...if I could just manage to successfully incorporate that). I *should* have taken a time out, put my little guy in bed, and gone to pray, but I didn't. Let's just say it's a wonder that I'm not hoarse today. Not my proudest afternoon for sure.
Today is Wednesday. It's a new day. It's a chance to make reparations for the wrongs I've done. It's a day to nurture. Obviously, I plan on having the living room picked up for my awesome husband when he gets home...and hopefully the dishes too. Everything else is pretty tidy right now. I also plan to serve him in whatever way he needs or asks for this evening. For the baby, there will all the usual cuddles and carrier time and some floor time play. For my 2 year old, I've promised to go and play Thomas just as soon as I finish up here. I also plan to tickle wrestle with him later. When he gets rough, it seems to be his way of showing that he just needs some rough love and boyish affection, and I completely disregarded that yesterday. He loves to just go in the bedroom on our bed and snuggle, wrestle, and tickle. So we'll do that this afternoon sometime, probably when he starts getting grumpy and tired. For my 4 year old, we're going to do dishes together-her new favorite way to "help" and sew some headband/scarves this afternoon. Maybe we'll color together too. Quality/quantity time and affection seem to be a big need for her, and I'm not good at filling it everyday. This is an area I NEED to improve. For my 7 year old, I plan on writing a "love" note. He feels really special when he finds them and usually carries them around for a while or puts them on his shelf. I also plan to ask him more about his latest Lego creation and maybe we'll read a book together later too.
I love my family and I definitely haven't done a very good job showing it this week so far. But we are renewed each morning and I'm going to take it. All too often in our society when we have a rough day, we're told to take a day off and focus on ourselves, do something nice for ourselves, but I'm going to focus on service today, and I KNOW I'll feel better. I'll feel fulfilled, satisfied, renewed.
"22)The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
23)They are new every morning,
Great is Your faithfulness.
24)'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul,
'Therefore I have hope in Him'"