A Little Conviction

My husband was just holding the baby when the Little Guy came up and bashed right into him.  I was thinking of my own reaction to this happening MANY many many times.  I usually react in anger and make the Little Guy move away from me.  I'm always telling him "gentle, Mommy likes nice touches".  My husband's reaction just convicted me though.  He said "sometimes 'rough' is all I get with Little Guy".  The way he said it was like it was a privilege to be assaulted by our very rough and tumble Little Guy.  Wow.  All this time I've been treating it like something that should only happen at certain times (like tickle-wrestle time), and here my husband was treasuring it.  You know the saying "there is no 'I' in team"?  I'm always saying "there is no 'gentle' in Little Guy".  And there isn't really.  He WILL hug, and he will kiss, but it's usually accompanied with a body blow or tackle of some sort immediately before or after...or he uses my hair or skin to pull me toward him.  And you know what, that's ok.  I'm going to adopt my husband's attitude (with God's help because it really does trigger an angry response from me when he hurts me oftentimes) and treasure my little guy and the way that HE needs to love.

A father's day wish: Dads, wake the hell up!

I've seen this posted all over Facebook and I don't really know what I think about this it yet...I guess I agree with some of it, but not all of it.
#1, I agree, expecting to take an entire day to yourself EVERY weekend is just inconsiderate and I would be upset if my husband did that. I am totally cool with him doing it once a month or so though. I want him to get that stress-free man-time in. 
#2, I think it really depends on the person. I need a LOT less sleep than my husband, so I've willingly committed to letting him sleep in on the weekend. He has no problem getting up if I need something or we need to be somewhere, but it's one way that I say "thank you" for working so hard to provide for our family. Don't get me wrong, if this wasn't an agreement between me and God, it could be very ugly and I could (and do occasionally) get upset and selfish about it. But that is how it works for us. It won't work for everyone.
#3, Again I think it depends on the family. I don't care if he doesn't change diapers. In fact, when we switched to cloth we decided I would do diaper changes from then on because pins freak him out. I'm fine with that. He will take a dirty diaper off, he will take them potty, but generally speaking, I re-diaper. This is a "me giving" not a "him refusing" thing.
#4, I think boys are boys and girls are girls. Boys don't paint their toenails at our house (except once when Little Guy was beside himself with grief when Pretty and I painted ours) and they don't wear dresses, but they CAN play with dolls no problem. My husband does have fun playing with his daughters, but he's 100% man when he does and I think that's important.
#5, I agree with. It's hard for anyone, and I'm sure all of us have room to improve on that one. I know I hate playing outside, but I've been making myself do it because it's good for the kids.
#6, Definitely. And my husband is great at it. Whether it's sending me to the craft store or mall, or letting me shower or sew. ♥
#7, I'm sure if our kids had extracurriculars they were involved in or were public schooled he'd totally do this. As it is, he does do activities with them and date nights. It's definitely a good thing.
#8, I do disagree with this one. I'm NOT changing the oil in the Suburban and I don't expect him to do the dishes or clean the bathrooms. Those are my responsibility. If he needs a dish that is dirty and I can't do it, he has no problem washing it. But as for the sink full, that's me.
#9, I don't think we've ever done. Once they're asleep, we usually let them be. But whatever, we have serious sleep issues in this house.
#10, Definitely.

Time to get my nurture on

Mondays...Mondays really have been hard lately and I don't know why.  They never used to bother me, but for whatever reason, I've realized over the last several weeks that I'm mega grumpy on Mondays.  I know my awesome husband has been praying extra for me on Mondays, and I'm so appreciative.  I think it's partly due to being with Daddy all weekend and all of us missing him when he goes back to work. 

This Monday wasn't too bad until the afternoon, and then it was just...blah.  I let it get the best of me and broke a promise to myself and didn't get the living room picked up before my husband came home from work.  My husband's job is loud and messy, and he's let me know that it's really hard to relax on his time off when the house is the same (or worse...which is very possible with several small children and a wife who struggles with the housekeeping part of being a sahm).  I have been trying to get the living room picked up before he gets home for the past few months to bless him and serve him, but Monday I didn't even try.  I just felt blah and I let it dictate my afternoon and his evening.  At bedtime, as he kicked a toy he'd just stepped on, he vented his frustration a little to me.  I failed him and I was sorry. 

Tuesday I did a much better job picking up, but Tuesday was Monday 2.0 in its own way.  Tuesday my patience appeared to be on vacation.  According to my 7 year old's dictionary, patience is "the ability to remain calm when dealing with a difficult or annoying situation, task, or person".  My 2 year old was deep into the "Terrible Two's" yesterday.  He kept hitting and laying on his older sister and me, and tried to crawl on his baby sister.  He was pushing all my buttons and he was unrelenting in it.  As much as I tried, I couldn't channel Michelle Duggar (bless her for sharing her whisper instead of yell tip...if I could just manage to successfully incorporate that).  I *should* have taken a time out, put my little guy in bed, and gone to pray, but I didn't.  Let's just say it's a wonder that I'm not hoarse today.  Not my proudest afternoon for sure.

Today is Wednesday.  It's a new day.  It's a chance to make reparations for the wrongs I've done.  It's a day to nurture.  Obviously, I plan on having the living room picked up for my awesome husband when he gets home...and hopefully the dishes too.  Everything else is pretty tidy right now.  I also plan to serve him in whatever way he needs or asks for this evening.  For the baby, there will all the usual cuddles and carrier time and some floor time play.  For my 2 year old, I've promised to go and play Thomas just as soon as I finish up here.  I also plan to tickle wrestle with him later.  When he gets rough, it seems to be his way of showing that he just needs some rough love and boyish affection, and I completely disregarded that yesterday.  He loves to just go in the bedroom on our bed and snuggle, wrestle, and tickle.  So we'll do that this afternoon sometime, probably when he starts getting grumpy and tired.  For my 4 year old, we're going to do dishes together-her new favorite way to "help" and sew some headband/scarves this afternoon.  Maybe we'll color together too.  Quality/quantity time and affection seem to be a big need for her, and I'm not good at filling it everyday.  This is an area I NEED to improve.  For my 7 year old, I plan on writing a "love" note.  He feels really special when he finds them and usually carries them around for a while or puts them on his shelf.  I also plan to ask him more about his latest Lego creation and maybe we'll read a book together later too.

I love my family and I definitely haven't done a very good job showing it this week so far.  But we are renewed each morning and I'm going to take it.  All too often in our society when we have a rough day, we're told to take a day off and focus on ourselves, do something nice for ourselves, but I'm going to focus on service today, and I KNOW I'll feel better.  I'll feel fulfilled, satisfied, renewed.

"22)The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
23)They are new every morning,
Great is Your faithfulness.
24)'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul,
'Therefore I have hope in Him'"
Lamentations 3:22-24

My Littlest Mister

So my two year old son is quite the rough and tumble boy.  And a little grumpster at heart.  We knew it right from the start, even before he was born.  Around 18w he picked a posterior (face forward instead of toward mom's back) presentation and stuck with it to the end.  His favorite activity in utero was to push one or both of his feet as far into my belly button as he could.  Thanks to him, my belly button has gone from an "outie" to a "downie"...as in it points downward now.  Awesome.  He's worth it though.  He further clued us in to his stubborn ways when as a baby he took his sweet time learning to laugh, and then sharing it.  The usual tricks that worked with our first two didn't always work on him, and he'd only laugh when he really felt like it.  I guess he's like me a bit in that, I don't always laugh when somethings funny...I think I'm laughing, but then my husband ends up saying "guess you had to be there" and I realize that I'm NOT laughing.
My littlest guy is a happy boy...sometimes.  But he's definitely a brooding, emotional, easily soured little guy.  We're learning how to help pull him out of his shell though.  A few days ago he was having a moment...or rather, an afternoon of stormy emotions.  I pulled him to me and planted a bunch of sloppy mommy kisses all over him.  He laughed a little and went back to brooding (a favorite code-saying of ours in reference to these moods is "oh, it looks like someone killed Little Guy's puppy again" and one of us will go off and try to cheer him up).  My husband and I have been talking a lot about helping boys be boys and what little boys are inherently drawn to and it struck me.  I pulled Little Guy to me and went to plant a kiss on him and stopped suddenly, pulled back, turned my head and exclaimed "EEEWWWWWWW!  Toddler kisses!  Yuck!" and he laughed his little monster head off.  We did that over and over and over again, probably for a full 10 minutes.  He's such a boy!  Any kind of gross noises tickle him right to his core (like when the squirrel passes gas on Phineas and Ferb).  That kind of stuff may make ME uncomfortable, but my husband is always reminding me that boys are boys, and they love that stuff.  So I'll do it for them.  Do you have a broody little one?  What do you do to cheer them up?