Just a little (a lot?) about me.

Welcome to my new blog! 

My name is Jennifer.  I'm a 28yo SAHM (stay-at-home-mom).  I have a wonderful husband (10 years together, 8 years married!).  He's just amazing...I don't know how to describe his awesomeness really.  But I think he should teach classes on how to be a husband because he bats it out of the park!  I'm so blessed.  We have 4 kids, a son who is almost 8, a daughter who is almost 5, a 2 1/2 year old son, and a new(ish) baby girl who is 5 months old.  We've also been through 4 miscarriages and we know that our babies are in Heaven rejoicing with Jesus.  We long for the day that we get to meet them, and so do our children.  They find it pretty exciting that they've got brothers and/or sisters in Heaven already.
I wasn't raised a Christian.  Much the opposite in fact.  We went to church occasionally as a kid to a strict church-strict but lax at the same time.  Ritual-y I guess.  I don't ever remember learning that the KEY to our salvation, our only ticket to Heaven, is a relationship with Jesus Christ, our one and only Savior.  Maybe I missed it when they talked about it.  By highschool, I had completely abandoned any thoughts of a God for this world.  I was a vegetarian (fine for some, but it created some idol worship issues for me) and I would literally read my Bible (my aunt sent me a new one every few years) and rant and rave about the animal sacrifices.  It was a huge wedge preventing a relationship with Jesus for me.  A year into our relationship, my future husband and I were talking one day when I got word that a friend of mine had decided to be an athiest like me.  I felt victorious, like I'd won someone over finally.  I was really excited and told him so.  The way he looked at me cut completely through me.  I knew then that I had a real chance to lose him.  I was terrified, he was the BEST thing that had happened to me.  For the first time in my life, I was willing to listen to the truth about Jesus, and I did.  He witnessed, and I confessed.  It was like a veil was lifted from my eyes and I could finally see the TRUTH.  I had been witnessed to so many times before, but it fell on deaf ears.  I wasn't interested.  I wish I could say that getting saved changed my life immediately, but it was a slow journey.  I was locked into some really scary OCD/fear/anxiety issues at that time, but with the Lord's help I really worked through them and gave up a lot of my issues.  It's always awesome to improve your mental health, and I was so grateful.
My awesome guy and I grew closer together, and we got married a little over a year after that.  Unfortnuately, like I said, we weren't closely following the Lord and didn't experience an immediate transformation into...perfection (but who does?) and we conceived our oldest child 4 1/2 months before the wedding.  It's always *fun* when people figure that out, so it's just best to throw it out there and avoid the looks while they try to count out the months.  It's a blessing in disguise I suppose because it gives us a "hey, we did this and we want BETTER for your lives" conversation starter for when it comes time to talk the talk with the kids.
Besides being picked by this amazing guy to share his life and love forever, being a mom is the best thing ever!  These kids teach me lessons on a daily basis, and being a parent has taught me so much about Jesus and how He cares for us.  We made the decision right away that I would be a SAHM and have been so blessed in that respect.  It was extremely tight for the first few years...I can still hear those pennies squeal, but it was so worth it.  We're just now getting the ball rolling on buying a house in the next year or so.  Our vehicles are both almost 20 years old, but that's all worth it to me!  I've not missed out on any of my kids' firsts...it's a worthy trade-off for sure.

I wanted to make this blog because I guess I've had it "up to here" with how relationships are portrayed on tv and movies and all over.  Men are constantly beaten up by their "ball-busting" wives, disrespected, put down, and treated like idiots.  Women "wear the pants" in the family and are in charge of everything.  They can "take care of themselves" and don't need a man to help them with anything.  They seem to almost always work through their mothering years, putting their kids in daycare or hiring a nanny, I know that's exactly what happened in my house growing up.  I just don't feel like the rest of us, those of us who submit willingly and lovingly to our husbands and who willingly and lovingly stay home to raise our kids ourselves are being represented.  I want to encourage the women out there who aren't sure and reaffirm the women out there who already live this lifestyle.  It can be lonely sometimes when everyone around you looks down on your family for living the "old-fashioned" way.

Please don't take me the wrong way and think that I'm going to be preaching at you from my pedestal.  I am so far from perfect, it's not even funny (though I do wonder if sometimes in my stupidity if I make God laugh).  It's a journey...one that we can't finish until Jesus comes to take us all.  We'll never be perfect here in this life, but that doesn't mean that we can't make a conscious effort to try our hardest everyday.  Even if all we've done is wrong and awful all day (any other moms feel like that sometimes?  Raise your hand if you struggle with yelling or being too hard or soft on your kids), we can still do some good.  If your kids are in bed, write them a love note (or draw a picture for the non-readers) and leave it where they can find it in the morning.  Apologize as soon as you can and use the opportunity to talk about how we are all imperfect sinners and that Jesus loves us anyway.  I hope that this blog will be encouragement to someone.