Media Monday

On Mondays, I will be sharing a bit of media-Bible verse, song, television show, movie, cartoon, news article, blog post, anything media-ish that has inspired, convicted, or encouraged me.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.



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Monday 7/11/11

I love this song by Joy Williams, Hide.



Lyrics

I first heard this song when I was new to Christianity. I knew that I was forgiven, but I didn't really know what all that meant, and I didn't really understand that Jesus wanted to meet me right where I was, warts and all. I saw these people at church who seemed all put together and figured out. They'd been Christians for a long time, many of them since childhood, and I felt like I couldn't be "holy" like them. We'd just gotten married AFTER getting pregnant, I'd spent many years as an outspoken athiest...I didn't feel like I would ever be good enough. I knew that Jesus would forgive me, but it just didn't connect fully. This song helped me.

"And if you feel like no one understands
Come to the One with scars on His hands
'Cause He knows where you are, where you've been
His scars will heal you if you let Him."

Just wow. Obviously I'm not saying trust everything you hear in a song, but use it as a launch-point for diving into your Bible and finding the truth.

Hebrews 10:22
Let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

So come with me, if you're scared or unsure. Crack open that Bible and look for some love verses.

Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Wow, it's hard to believe that someone would die for me, ME, while I hated Him. And He died for you too, whether you've loved him since your earliest memories, or if you aren't sure right now. He loves YOU.

I John 4:19
We love, because He first loved us.

John 3
16)For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. 17)For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. 18)He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

"He who believes in Him is not judged"...again, just wow! I get this "free" pass. All because Jesus loves ME. No more hiding, no more wondering if I'm good enough. No more thinking others deserve it more than me or that others are better than me. Jesus picked them, but He picked me too! And He wants you too. He wants to share His never-ending, knowledge-surpassing, all-encompassing, hurt-healing love with you.

Monday Blog Link-Up at Joy Filled Living

10 Thanks July

10 Thanks
On the 10th of each month, I plan on sharing 10 things I'm thankful for.  Big or little, new or old.

Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart exults,
And with my song I shall thank Him.



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For some reason Simply-Linked isn't working for me right now, so leave your blog link in the comments please. :)



July
1) I am thankful for the servant's heart that my 4yo daughter is growing. this morning she told me that if I wanted to sleep in next weekend that she would get up with her 2yo brother and watch him.

2) I am thankful for my A-MAZ-ING husband. God has blessed me more than I could ever have imagined with just my husband. Wow. He's incredible...possibly one of his most useful talents is his ability to talk me down from crazy (which I will talk more about on Transparent Tuesday ). He's so wise and so rational.

3) I am thankful for the opportunity to be a mother. I was told by my own mother that my chances to be a mother might be lessened from dozens of pelvic x-rays as a child. I don't know if it's true or not, but it sure did worry me.

4) I am thankful for chocolate and coffee. Silly I know, but it's a way to connect with my husband, he loves them both. I love just sitting with him and eating some chocolate-something and drinking our coffee together.

5) I am thankful for some truly awesome friends. I'm not the best at being a friend. I'm a complete and total introvert, but when we get together, it doesn't seem to matter and we can talk all day.

6) I am thankful for the area I live in. For the first time in my life, I feel like I am home. It's just a great place to live, safe, big enough, but plenty of country in and around the city too.

7) I am thankful for the internet. I can remember life without it (we didn't have internet until I was maybe 14 or 15) but I can't imagine life without the opportunities it gives me to learn now, especially as a mother and I need to be able to quickly research something.

8) I am thankful for pencils. I hate writing in pen. I NEED to be able to erase things. I'm also thankful that I'm not still in english class in 10th and 11th grade when my teachers required me to write in pen. Oh the nights spent up late re-writing an assignment because I made a mistake at the bottom of the back of a page and couldn't stand the site of the "X" through it.

9) I am thankful for my Bible. It's a MacArthur Study Bible (NASB). I've learned a ton from it. I also have a Life Application Study Bible (NIV) and a Women of Faith Bible (NLT) that I loved too.

10) I am thankful for my Jesus, who loves me no matter how awful I am, or self-loathing, or prideful. I love Him because He first loved me and I am thankful that I get to spend ALL eternity in His gracious care.

Frizzy Hair-F is for Friday

F is for Friday
Friday is basically a free for all.  I plan on posting about things like Food, Fitness, Family, Fun, Festivities, etc.  It doesn't have to be about "F" things, but look forward to me doing my best to make (ridiculous) links to the letter F.

Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine.



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My F today is Frizzy! I have dread locks. Mostly dread locks. Some of my hair is still free. I haven't counted them...but I guess I probably have like 60. The bottom bit of my hair in the back is STILL undone, 4 months after the two week long process of slowly backcombing them in (it took me 2 weeks because I have FOUR kids! Ha! And I did it all myself here and there during the day when no one needed me, otherwise I could have busted it out in about 8-10 hours solid probably, but who has 8-10 hours?). I also undid the 2 at my ears because my glasses were just mutilating them and the 2 above those ones because they just didn't want to stay in. And my bangs are not done. I don't know when I'll finish up the back. Maybe soon, I hope. The distance between the bottom of the dreads and bottom of the undone hair is now about 4-5" and looks kind of silly. I usually wear my hair up in a big blob anyway, so it's not a huge deal.



I don't have dreads because I identify with that culture...in fact far from it. I have dreads simply because I like the way they look. I have a lot of hair. Unruly hair. Semi-wavy when it wants to be (usually on days I want it straight), semi-straight (usually on days I want it to be curly). I don't like using product to get it to obey...well, ok, my hair obeys WITH product about like a 2 year old, and without product about like a cat. It's just unmanageable. Except when super duper short. Which is cute, but I've always wanted it long and this seems to be the best way for me to have it long. Without dreads, it lays flat on my head at the top and gets all bubbly and yucky everywhere else, I can do ponytails, but they're just "eh". I've never been able to get my hair to hold an updo, it just falls out because I have a lot of fine hair. But dreads are awesome! I can do so much with them (when they don't need to be toned down a bit...they're trying to merge in the back right now and desperately need some attention...that I don't have time for at the moment), and when I can't do something cute, a simple wrapped up ponytail is still super cute.
I've had dreads before, actually about the same time of year last year (March to the end of June last year, this time end of February to now and beyond) and I tried doing the whole "un-poo'ing" thing with them, which is basically letting your hair regulate its oil on it's own and just washing with baking soda a few times a month. That didn't work for me very well, my hair was just too oily and too flaky at the same time. My husband was less than impressed, and I want to be pleasing to him. So I combed out my dreads (ouch) and went back to "regular" shampoo. Regular for us anyway. We use Avalon Organics Volumizing Rosemary Shampoo and love it. My husband likes it because it cleans all of the mechanic-y greasiness out of his hair, and I like it for the kids because the ingredients are free of things like sodium lauryl/laureth sulfate , and I like it for me because it takes away that oily feeling and keeps my scalp from drying out too much and getting flaky.
I've read over and over again that when you have dreads you should avoid common shampoos and not overwash your hair because the hairs will have a hard time binding together and you'll wind up greasy, but I have not experienced that this time at all. In fact, as far as binding, I'd say washing my hair 3 times a week (as opposed to 3 times a month, plus rinsing another 4 or 5 times a months last time) and using this shampoo has HELPED my dreads tighten up faster! And it's definitely doing a great job keeping the oily grossness away, and the flakes too. It's just awesome stuff. I have the complementary conditioner too, but I don't use that on my hair very often because I know that will untangle my hair and I don't want that. But pre-dreads, I did like it very much. Awesome stuff.

My favorite new picture

Non family picture anyway. We lit fireworks on the 4th in our driveway. My 4yo wanted us to light some around a rose from one of the rose bushes (that girl LOVES her roses). This is the awesomeness that happened!

Transparent Tuesday

Transparent Tuesday
On Tuesdays I want to make myself transparent and share something that God has been working on my life, whether it be small (like cleaning my Suburban so I'm not humiliated when I open the door at the grocery store and trash falls out) or big, like submitting to my husband on an issue that needed to be addressed for many years.  You don't have to share this as many of these matters may be very private, but I encourage you to participate privately if you so choose.

Psalm 51:1-4
1)Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness;
According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions.
2)Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity
And cleanse me from my sin.
3)For I know my transgressions,
And my sin is ever before me.
4)Against You, You only, I have sinned
And done what is evil in Your sight,
So that You are justified when You speak
And blameless when You judge.



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So this is probably going to be a HUGE shock to some people that know me, but I think if we are blessed with another baby, we are going to seek a midwife to assist the birth. I've had one hospital birth (hated it, just felt like I was treated like a child and there was Z.E.R.O. support for my desire to go natural, not to mention they knowingly risked mine and my baby's health and safety for the sake of "timely" delivery) and three unassisted births. I loved my 3 u/c's, especially the first one. Minus my mother's presence for the last 20 minutes of it, it was picture perfect. My husband was serene (on the outside) and so supportive, even when I went bonkers and told him I wanted an epidural right before the baby came. Our second u/c was harder (3 days of labor, and a hard transition period thanks to a posterior baby with hands in his face) and I freaked out and cried and told him that I wanted a c-section because the baby was never coming. It really took a toll on my husband and I didn't want to face that. It was scary for him to see me like that and to have to decide if I was asking for a c-section because I thought something was wrong or if I was just labor-crazy. Looking back now, I can only imagine how much stress he was feeling. For our third u/c, I thought the solution to stressing my husband out would be for me to labor alone. My water broke (trickled all day really, no big gushes) first thing in the morning and I kind of laid around all day, not wanting to cause painful contractions if the baby wasn't ready to come out. That night, we went to bed around 11 and he decided to sleep on the couch, thinking that both of us would sleep better that way. Around 1:30/2 in the morning I got up and told him it was starting and that if he'd help me get my labor area set up that I'd wake him up when I needed him. Around 5:00 I started to have to really work through the contractions, and my 4yo was awake with me. About 5:30 my 2yo woke up and I decided that it was time to get Daddy up. I told him I was going to take a shower (hate baths) because it was really painful but I was only 5-6cm and I thought it was going to be a while. I tried to put on a brave face in front of him and to keep the noise down, but I was really struggling. I kept begging God to let me be done with the whole thing. Instead of relaxing between contractions I would tense up because it just meant another one was coming and I felt like they weren't going anywhere. I definitely could have used his presence, but I didn't want to scare him. Eventually I decided to test push and called him when I found that was making progress. He caught our sweet baby girl, but I knew that the whole situation really wore on him again.
We were talking recently about what the future holds for our family. I'd love to have as many more as God will allow, in His time (we don't prevent or encourage conception-we felt a very strong calling not to "try to conceive" back when we were miscarrying left and right before God gave us our 4yo), but I know that the thought really stresses out my husband. He confided in me more bluntly than usual (he really has been sweet about it, but I needed it spelled out for me) that a part of his hesitation is the giving birth part. It's scary, and so stressful for him to be THE responsible person if something goes wrong. And now I see it, FINALLY. I see what I've asked of my husband all these years, and it really wasn't fair. It's not that we both don't have faith in the Lord for our health and safety, and we know without a doubt that our decision to u/c has been right so far, but now, it's time to bring someone else in because it's not all about ME. It's about US, and if one of us is uneasy, then it's not right for the other one to force it. And I'm sorry.
Part of my reason for really liking u/c was my childhood abuse by my mother. I grew up basically unable to trust women older than me because I couldn't trust my mother not to wound me deeply. But maybe this is part of my growth and recovery now. I will HAVE to open up to another woman now and put some trust in her. I will have to be vulnerable to her. The neat thing is that I get to interview and pick someone who I think will fit me. Obviously I won't pick someone that will try to control me or reminds me of my mother. There are other types of women out there and I am sure that God has an amazing experience planned for me. For us. And for the first time in a long time maybe my husband will be able to relax and enjoy being a Daddy and husband during/after labor instead of worrying if something is wrong and if he'll be able to diagnose and act quickly enough. Poor guy.
So I'm hanging up my unassited birth hat. I don't feel like I'm being forced into anything, and I don't have the "but it's my body" attitude. It's a subtle submission. He probably never would have asked me to have a midwife, but I'm so glad that it's finally clear to me how much he'd like to have someone here. And I'm happy to submit on this one.

Daily Themes

I want to start doing some daily themes here.  I want to encourage others, and I want to learn from others also!  Feel free to grab a button and link back to me when you participate.


Media Monday
On Mondays, I will be sharing a bit of media-Bible verse, song, television show, movie, cartoon, news article, blog post, anything media-ish that has inspired, convicted, or encouraged me.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.



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Transparent Tuesday
On Tuesdays I want to make myself transparent and share something that God has been working on my life, whether it be small (like cleaning my Suburban so I'm not humiliated when I open the door at the grocery store and trash falls out) or big, like submitting to my husband on an issue that needed to be addressed for many years.  You don't have to share this as many of these matters may be very private, but I encourage you to participate privately if you so choose.

Psalm 51:1-4
1)Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness;
According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions.
2)Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity
And cleanse me from my sin.
3)For I know my transgressions,
And my sin is ever before me.
4)Against You, You only, I have sinned
And done what is evil in Your sight,
So that You are justified when You speak
And blameless when You judge.



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F is for Friday
Friday is basically a free for all.  I plan on posting about things like Food, Fitness, Family, Fun, Festivities, etc.  It doesn't have to be about "F" things, but look forward to me doing my best to make (ridiculous) links to the letter F.

Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine.



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Service Saturday
Saturdays I'd like to talk about ways that we can serve our families (as a whole, or an individual), our communities, and our God.  Or about ways that someone has blessed us!  Please be mindful that this doesn't become an opportunity to boast.  I want this to be us sharing ideas so that others may bless their family/community/God in similar ways.

John 12:26
If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him.



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10 Thanks
On the 10th of each month, I plan on sharing 10 things I'm thankful for.  Big or little, new or old.

Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart exults,
And with my song I shall thank Him.



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20 Questions
On the 20th of each month, I'd like to post those questions we have for God, like "Why did You pick blue for the sky?"...I'm sure the kiddos in many of our lives will inspire many questions.

Habakkuk 3:3(b)
His splendor covers the heavens,
And the earth is full of His praise.



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What a week!

"Phew!" as my 2yo would say. The big kids had VBS (Vacation Bible School) this week. They had a ton of fun, but my goodness, I didn't realize how much work there was involved in getting 5 people out the door by 8:30 in the morning everyday! And I wasn't even volunteering this time (next year when my 2yo is 3yo and in the 3yo class...maybe). I have to give kudos to those out there that do this every week during the school year, I just can't imagine. We still start our homeschooling day at 9, but if all I have the energy/time for is pajamas and fuzzy hair, pajamas and fuzzy hair it is. I had so much I wanted to do this week-like get my blog all spiffed up-and I just had no energy to do it after running all morning. Not to mention that it was just nice to sit and chill with the kiddos after they spent a few hours away. Aaaaaaand, my almost 6mo ((sob)) is teething big time this week and just not happy if I put her down (poor sweet baby is asleep in the Baby Ktan right now).

So those are my excuses for not doing anything around the blog here in over a week. I DO very much want to figure out how to get a button to show up...I have to try a new code my friend sent me. And I really want to figure out how to get tabs up at the top of my blog. I found something posted online, but wow, my non-computery self just did not get it. So if anyone has any tips that would be awesome, just don't take offense if I can't figure it out, ok?

Oh, I suppose I should update on the shingles. I had pain in the same spots (on my left shoulder blade and on the left side of my chest about where the nursing clip of my nursing tank hits) for 3 or 4 days and that was that. I took garlic and nothing became of it. So thankful, I really wasn't in the mood for shingles right now! Though a few days later I was WISHING I had shingles because I woke up to my left breast swollen, red, hot, and soooo hurty. I guess I had a mild case of mastitis starting? I have no clue, in almost 8y of straight breastfeeding I've never had anything like that happen before. I have caught my 2yo chewing on his TOEnails ((ew))...I wonder if it's his fault? I've had clogged ducts before, but this didn't feel like it...though on the 2nd or 3rd night of pain, while I was nursing the 2yo, I was massaging also and felt something hard go soft, so maybe there was a clogged duct deep inside that was starting to get infected. At any rate, I'd like to share that I took garlic everyday again for that and I'm pretty sure it knocked the potential infection out.

F is for Friday!



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