Late Monday/Tuesday post

Media Monday
On Mondays, I will be sharing a bit of media-Bible verse, song, television show, movie, cartoon, news article, blog post, anything media-ish that has inspired, convicted, or encouraged me.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.



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Transparent Tuesday
On Tuesdays I want to make myself transparent and share something that God has been working on my life, whether it be small (like cleaning my Suburban so I'm not humiliated when I open the door at the grocery store and trash falls out) or big, like submitting to my husband on an issue that needed to be addressed for many years.  You don't have to share this as many of these matters may be very private, but I encourage you to participate privately if you so choose.

Psalm 51:1-4
1)Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness;
According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions.
2)Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity
And cleanse me from my sin.
3)For I know my transgressions,
And my sin is ever before me.
4)Against You, You only, I have sinned
And done what is evil in Your sight,
So that You are justified when You speak
And blameless when You judge.



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Gosh I am terrible, forgive me for not getting this done yesterday! My 6mo is teething and has gone from a VERY easy going baby to a very a clingy/cry-y baby...and my 2yo is having a rough week too! He's freshly nursed and she's asleep right now, so let's see if I can get my thoughts out.


I was reading some testimonies on Above Rubies while trying to gain some knowledge on the subject of submission. Check those out, they are so wonderful to read and very convicting. "Please Yourself, You Usually Do" had a huge impact on me. It was two fold...both in my submission to my husband, but also in my leadership over my children. Just like her, I thought I had been doing a great job submitting...let me just pat myself on the back here...but in reality, I was only submitting on the easy things. Things that weren't really a challenge to me anymore. Things that I've been willingly submitting on for years now. But there are some areas in my life that I've been letting excuses rule for far too long. Laundry comes to mind. I'm ashamed to say it, but if you just showed up at my door any given day of the week, you would see a love seat piled HIGH with clean clothes that I haven't put away. Being completely honest here, sometimes I go 2-3 WEEKS...yes weeks, not days, without putting them away. I blame it on busy-ness with 4 kids, a lack of interest in laundry, tiredness, you name it. It's just "not my fault", know what I mean? But my husband is a neat and orderly guy and I know it just drives him absolutely bonkers to look at it all.the.time. The other day he asked me to put them on the floor in the bedroom so he didn't have to look at them all the time anymore. Wow. I've just failed so big right here! So my mission right now is to submit to him in this area and do what he'd really love to see, and get those clean clothes put away in a timely fashion so our living room looks better and we can actually use that love seat.
Now for my secondary thoughts on this testimony...she said she had so robbed her husband of his place of leadership that he was reluctant and slow to take it back up when she'd submitted to him again...I feel like this is exactly what has happened with my children and I. They're just kids and kids just push boundaries and try to negotiate their way out of things...and I've really let them take over a lot of times. I just get so tired of fighting with them and standing firm that it's EASIER to just let them do whatever it is as long as no one gets hurt. But in reading the above testimony, I realized that I am not doing them one bit of good by letting them take over. I'm actually harming them. Now I'm not talking going "Nazi" on them and taking away every freedom or choice. No, I'm just talking about making my "No" a real NO and sticking to it. I've been trying diligently since I read that to impliment this...and I tell you I've already seen a difference! My 4yo especially loves to ask as she's already doing something, and when I say "no", she just continues until she's finished. And just like the woman's husband would say "Please yourself, you usually do" I'd find myself saying "why should I even bother saying no, you'll do it anyway". And boy is that wrong! I'll be honest and say that this week she's not been very fond of the new Mom who stands behind her no, but I know it will only benefit us and in time she'll find security in it. We're going to work on not doing something until asking also so that I can get a chance to actually decide if it's something I'm ok with her doing. I am hoping that this will ease my frustration too when things build up. It's really hard to maintain my cool when I'm being constantly hounded and walked on. But I'm ready to take back my position of leadership and do so graciously but firmly.
Did anyone catch "19 Kids and Counting" last week when Michelle took Josie for her big appointment? Jessa was putting Johannah down for a nap and Johannah kept getting up to plead her case (boy...when we watch Johannah she just reminds us SO much of our 4yo!). Jessa was amazing! So calm and collected and firm in her no. It was really encouraging to see. That's how I want to be.

This week...

This week I'm going to be having a combo "Media Monday"/"Transparent Tuesday" post...tomorrow. I've got a lot swirling in my head about it right now, just need to make some time to sit down and get it all out! It will be on the topic of submission, both wife to husband and kid to parent.

Transparent Tuesday

On Tuesdays I want to make myself transparent and share something that God has been working on my life, whether it be small (like cleaning my Suburban so I'm not humiliated when I open the door at the grocery store and trash falls out) or big, like submitting to my husband on an issue that needed to be addressed for many years.  You don't have to share this as many of these matters may be very private, but I encourage you to participate privately if you so choose.

Psalm 51:1-4
1)Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness;
According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions.
2)Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity
And cleanse me from my sin.
3)For I know my transgressions,
And my sin is ever before me.
4)Against You, You only, I have sinned
And done what is evil in Your sight,
So that You are justified when You speak
And blameless when You judge.



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Transparent Tuesday 7/12/11

Oh the issues I have in my brain. I've long known that I have OCD tendencies...back when I was a little kid, I would arrange my stuffed animals *just so*, then in high school it was my clothes, hung up in color order and sleeve length. The OCD things died down quite a bit when I came to Jesus at 19, but I still struggle with them. Sunday, a heart to heart with my husband (I've mentioned him before right? And how awesome he is at talking me down from crazy? I really appreciate that he is willing to confront me, gently, and tell me the hard things I need to hear) revealed that I am still struggling with some OCD things, just not in the way I was on the look out for.
Food. It's food. Food. I was a vegetarian from 13-21. I didn't like meat (though I realized that when it's cooked properly, some of it IS yummy...just my family liked to over cook and over season things to the point that they were just not delicious) and I didn't like that animals were dying. Animals became an idol to me, being a vegetarian was a prison. For almost a whole year I felt a strong calling to put down my chains and eat freely, and I finally submitted to that calling. Am I saying it's wrong to be a vegetarian? Absolutely not...in fact, I appreciate the health benefits of being a food-savvy vegetarian. What I'm saying is that it was wrong for ME at that time. It was keeping distance between myself and God, and myself and my husband. It was also holding back my son's development in theory(at that time he was about 18mo). I didn't want him to eat meat. Turns out that didn't really matter because now at almost 8, he doesn't really like meat and will eat it VERY sparingly when we make him.
Fast forward a few years and my almost 5yo is just born. We decide to start cleaning up our poor diet (literally poor, when I was pregnant with her, we had to budget to the penny and our food choices were not that great as I didn't realize that cooking from scratch was healthful and frugal). We finally had moved to the next phase in life (husband graduated, new job with better pay started), and it felt great to eat healthy. We lost weight, we lost our taste for things like corn syrup, and when we'd eat out occasionally with family, we'd be ill that night because our bodies weren't used to junk food. Then we got lazy and slipped into eating just regular. Fast forward a bit to just before getting pregnant with our 2 1/2yo. We were researching autism spectrum disorders at the counsel of some trustworthy friends and really came to believe that our oldest and I both were most likely in the range of Asperger's Syndrome (along with my father and brother). We decided to try a gluten-free casein-free (gfcf) diet and did really well with it for 4 months. It was hard though, and very time consuming. And limiting. We abandoned it when I became pregnant because I could not bring myself to eat any of it. Since then we've tried to eat healthy and evaluted and reevaluted what we eat...mostly just to the point of making me crazy and changing our eating habits for a few weeks at a time and reverting back to just a general healthy eating (fruits and veggies, yogurts, mostly whole wheat, no hydrogenated oils, no artificial coloring, no corn syrup/hfcs, no packaged food-except for Annie's mac n'cheese and their bunny crackers). I guess reading that it sounds pretty good, but I always find some way to beat myself up about it. For instance, the kids and I really just don't like meat. My 4yo will eat it willingly sometimes, occasionally she'll ask for chicken and excitedly devour an ounce or two, and my 2yo will also eat it *usually* when we give it to him, he'll also eat more of a variety of meat too. But we could easily take it or leave it. It bothers me to no end that my husband, who very much likes meat, has had to change more to fit us than the other way around. I guess I feel like he eats "normal" and we don't. So I try to change the 4 of us and try to force us circles to fit in a square hole, and it never lasts...and it causes a lot of heartache too sometimes.
We were just about to go gf again this week, but on the second day breakfast failed and I was upset. I was lamenting to my husband and he saw the opportunity to help me sort through all the stuff, and wow. I can see now that I DO beat myself up about our food choices. We eat things like sweet potato or pumpkin pancakes with real maple syrup, or homemade tortillas topped with beans and avacado and cheese, and we're drinking raw milk now. I hide things like butternut squash in macaroni and cheese and broccoli in "alfredo". We eat green eggs (spinach), and I always have something healthy in our muffins that are sweetened with sucanat. I make our toothpaste (and now mouthwash). I breastfeed for a long time (I am so blessed in this area and have not had any real struggles since we finally mastered it when my oldest was about 6 weeks old). All these things I do, consciously, prayerfully, and I still try to tear myself down. I'm always comparing myself to other moms who I just feel like do a better job than I do, or their kids are less picky, or x, y, z...and honestly, it wouldn't really bother me so much, but my husband said it hurts my kids when I do that, and I can't hurt them! So here is one step in the right direction. I've been bound by all this self-imposed legalism in our eating, and I need to just let it all go.
My husband read Galatians 5:1-6 to me. Verse 1 says "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."
I'll never be perfect, and my kids are never going to like everything I want them to. My oldest is probably going to always have dental issues (like me, and both my parents), and THAT sucks. But he'll be ok, just like I'm ok. I will just do my best and not rage at myself for not being able to do more than my best. I had a moment of clarity yesterday after our talk. God gives us endless opportunities to benefit and bless our family...and I was beating myself up for not taking advantage of every single one of them. He didn't create 3766340963467 ways for me to fail...because that's what it feels like, he created 3766340963467 ways to bless our families so that when I cast my net wide, I can catch onto the ways that work for our family. If I succeed at 4 things, great. That doesn't mean I failed because there are 3766340963463 ways that I missed or that simply don't work for us. I'm not cured of my crazy OCD "must be in absolute control of our eating"ness, but I'm feeling better about my outlook. I don't feel hopeless now. I don't feel like there is no way on earth I'll ever succeed, because I'm succeeding daily. I just need to reasonable.

Transparent Tuesday

Transparent Tuesday
On Tuesdays I want to make myself transparent and share something that God has been working on my life, whether it be small (like cleaning my Suburban so I'm not humiliated when I open the door at the grocery store and trash falls out) or big, like submitting to my husband on an issue that needed to be addressed for many years.  You don't have to share this as many of these matters may be very private, but I encourage you to participate privately if you so choose.

Psalm 51:1-4
1)Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness;
According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions.
2)Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity
And cleanse me from my sin.
3)For I know my transgressions,
And my sin is ever before me.
4)Against You, You only, I have sinned
And done what is evil in Your sight,
So that You are justified when You speak
And blameless when You judge.



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So this is probably going to be a HUGE shock to some people that know me, but I think if we are blessed with another baby, we are going to seek a midwife to assist the birth. I've had one hospital birth (hated it, just felt like I was treated like a child and there was Z.E.R.O. support for my desire to go natural, not to mention they knowingly risked mine and my baby's health and safety for the sake of "timely" delivery) and three unassisted births. I loved my 3 u/c's, especially the first one. Minus my mother's presence for the last 20 minutes of it, it was picture perfect. My husband was serene (on the outside) and so supportive, even when I went bonkers and told him I wanted an epidural right before the baby came. Our second u/c was harder (3 days of labor, and a hard transition period thanks to a posterior baby with hands in his face) and I freaked out and cried and told him that I wanted a c-section because the baby was never coming. It really took a toll on my husband and I didn't want to face that. It was scary for him to see me like that and to have to decide if I was asking for a c-section because I thought something was wrong or if I was just labor-crazy. Looking back now, I can only imagine how much stress he was feeling. For our third u/c, I thought the solution to stressing my husband out would be for me to labor alone. My water broke (trickled all day really, no big gushes) first thing in the morning and I kind of laid around all day, not wanting to cause painful contractions if the baby wasn't ready to come out. That night, we went to bed around 11 and he decided to sleep on the couch, thinking that both of us would sleep better that way. Around 1:30/2 in the morning I got up and told him it was starting and that if he'd help me get my labor area set up that I'd wake him up when I needed him. Around 5:00 I started to have to really work through the contractions, and my 4yo was awake with me. About 5:30 my 2yo woke up and I decided that it was time to get Daddy up. I told him I was going to take a shower (hate baths) because it was really painful but I was only 5-6cm and I thought it was going to be a while. I tried to put on a brave face in front of him and to keep the noise down, but I was really struggling. I kept begging God to let me be done with the whole thing. Instead of relaxing between contractions I would tense up because it just meant another one was coming and I felt like they weren't going anywhere. I definitely could have used his presence, but I didn't want to scare him. Eventually I decided to test push and called him when I found that was making progress. He caught our sweet baby girl, but I knew that the whole situation really wore on him again.
We were talking recently about what the future holds for our family. I'd love to have as many more as God will allow, in His time (we don't prevent or encourage conception-we felt a very strong calling not to "try to conceive" back when we were miscarrying left and right before God gave us our 4yo), but I know that the thought really stresses out my husband. He confided in me more bluntly than usual (he really has been sweet about it, but I needed it spelled out for me) that a part of his hesitation is the giving birth part. It's scary, and so stressful for him to be THE responsible person if something goes wrong. And now I see it, FINALLY. I see what I've asked of my husband all these years, and it really wasn't fair. It's not that we both don't have faith in the Lord for our health and safety, and we know without a doubt that our decision to u/c has been right so far, but now, it's time to bring someone else in because it's not all about ME. It's about US, and if one of us is uneasy, then it's not right for the other one to force it. And I'm sorry.
Part of my reason for really liking u/c was my childhood abuse by my mother. I grew up basically unable to trust women older than me because I couldn't trust my mother not to wound me deeply. But maybe this is part of my growth and recovery now. I will HAVE to open up to another woman now and put some trust in her. I will have to be vulnerable to her. The neat thing is that I get to interview and pick someone who I think will fit me. Obviously I won't pick someone that will try to control me or reminds me of my mother. There are other types of women out there and I am sure that God has an amazing experience planned for me. For us. And for the first time in a long time maybe my husband will be able to relax and enjoy being a Daddy and husband during/after labor instead of worrying if something is wrong and if he'll be able to diagnose and act quickly enough. Poor guy.
So I'm hanging up my unassited birth hat. I don't feel like I'm being forced into anything, and I don't have the "but it's my body" attitude. It's a subtle submission. He probably never would have asked me to have a midwife, but I'm so glad that it's finally clear to me how much he'd like to have someone here. And I'm happy to submit on this one.

A father's day wish: Dads, wake the hell up!

I've seen this posted all over Facebook and I don't really know what I think about this it yet...I guess I agree with some of it, but not all of it.
#1, I agree, expecting to take an entire day to yourself EVERY weekend is just inconsiderate and I would be upset if my husband did that. I am totally cool with him doing it once a month or so though. I want him to get that stress-free man-time in. 
#2, I think it really depends on the person. I need a LOT less sleep than my husband, so I've willingly committed to letting him sleep in on the weekend. He has no problem getting up if I need something or we need to be somewhere, but it's one way that I say "thank you" for working so hard to provide for our family. Don't get me wrong, if this wasn't an agreement between me and God, it could be very ugly and I could (and do occasionally) get upset and selfish about it. But that is how it works for us. It won't work for everyone.
#3, Again I think it depends on the family. I don't care if he doesn't change diapers. In fact, when we switched to cloth we decided I would do diaper changes from then on because pins freak him out. I'm fine with that. He will take a dirty diaper off, he will take them potty, but generally speaking, I re-diaper. This is a "me giving" not a "him refusing" thing.
#4, I think boys are boys and girls are girls. Boys don't paint their toenails at our house (except once when Little Guy was beside himself with grief when Pretty and I painted ours) and they don't wear dresses, but they CAN play with dolls no problem. My husband does have fun playing with his daughters, but he's 100% man when he does and I think that's important.
#5, I agree with. It's hard for anyone, and I'm sure all of us have room to improve on that one. I know I hate playing outside, but I've been making myself do it because it's good for the kids.
#6, Definitely. And my husband is great at it. Whether it's sending me to the craft store or mall, or letting me shower or sew. ♥
#7, I'm sure if our kids had extracurriculars they were involved in or were public schooled he'd totally do this. As it is, he does do activities with them and date nights. It's definitely a good thing.
#8, I do disagree with this one. I'm NOT changing the oil in the Suburban and I don't expect him to do the dishes or clean the bathrooms. Those are my responsibility. If he needs a dish that is dirty and I can't do it, he has no problem washing it. But as for the sink full, that's me.
#9, I don't think we've ever done. Once they're asleep, we usually let them be. But whatever, we have serious sleep issues in this house.
#10, Definitely.

Time to get my nurture on

Mondays...Mondays really have been hard lately and I don't know why.  They never used to bother me, but for whatever reason, I've realized over the last several weeks that I'm mega grumpy on Mondays.  I know my awesome husband has been praying extra for me on Mondays, and I'm so appreciative.  I think it's partly due to being with Daddy all weekend and all of us missing him when he goes back to work. 

This Monday wasn't too bad until the afternoon, and then it was just...blah.  I let it get the best of me and broke a promise to myself and didn't get the living room picked up before my husband came home from work.  My husband's job is loud and messy, and he's let me know that it's really hard to relax on his time off when the house is the same (or worse...which is very possible with several small children and a wife who struggles with the housekeeping part of being a sahm).  I have been trying to get the living room picked up before he gets home for the past few months to bless him and serve him, but Monday I didn't even try.  I just felt blah and I let it dictate my afternoon and his evening.  At bedtime, as he kicked a toy he'd just stepped on, he vented his frustration a little to me.  I failed him and I was sorry. 

Tuesday I did a much better job picking up, but Tuesday was Monday 2.0 in its own way.  Tuesday my patience appeared to be on vacation.  According to my 7 year old's dictionary, patience is "the ability to remain calm when dealing with a difficult or annoying situation, task, or person".  My 2 year old was deep into the "Terrible Two's" yesterday.  He kept hitting and laying on his older sister and me, and tried to crawl on his baby sister.  He was pushing all my buttons and he was unrelenting in it.  As much as I tried, I couldn't channel Michelle Duggar (bless her for sharing her whisper instead of yell tip...if I could just manage to successfully incorporate that).  I *should* have taken a time out, put my little guy in bed, and gone to pray, but I didn't.  Let's just say it's a wonder that I'm not hoarse today.  Not my proudest afternoon for sure.

Today is Wednesday.  It's a new day.  It's a chance to make reparations for the wrongs I've done.  It's a day to nurture.  Obviously, I plan on having the living room picked up for my awesome husband when he gets home...and hopefully the dishes too.  Everything else is pretty tidy right now.  I also plan to serve him in whatever way he needs or asks for this evening.  For the baby, there will all the usual cuddles and carrier time and some floor time play.  For my 2 year old, I've promised to go and play Thomas just as soon as I finish up here.  I also plan to tickle wrestle with him later.  When he gets rough, it seems to be his way of showing that he just needs some rough love and boyish affection, and I completely disregarded that yesterday.  He loves to just go in the bedroom on our bed and snuggle, wrestle, and tickle.  So we'll do that this afternoon sometime, probably when he starts getting grumpy and tired.  For my 4 year old, we're going to do dishes together-her new favorite way to "help" and sew some headband/scarves this afternoon.  Maybe we'll color together too.  Quality/quantity time and affection seem to be a big need for her, and I'm not good at filling it everyday.  This is an area I NEED to improve.  For my 7 year old, I plan on writing a "love" note.  He feels really special when he finds them and usually carries them around for a while or puts them on his shelf.  I also plan to ask him more about his latest Lego creation and maybe we'll read a book together later too.

I love my family and I definitely haven't done a very good job showing it this week so far.  But we are renewed each morning and I'm going to take it.  All too often in our society when we have a rough day, we're told to take a day off and focus on ourselves, do something nice for ourselves, but I'm going to focus on service today, and I KNOW I'll feel better.  I'll feel fulfilled, satisfied, renewed.

"22)The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
23)They are new every morning,
Great is Your faithfulness.
24)'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul,
'Therefore I have hope in Him'"
Lamentations 3:22-24

Just a little (a lot?) about me.

Welcome to my new blog! 

My name is Jennifer.  I'm a 28yo SAHM (stay-at-home-mom).  I have a wonderful husband (10 years together, 8 years married!).  He's just amazing...I don't know how to describe his awesomeness really.  But I think he should teach classes on how to be a husband because he bats it out of the park!  I'm so blessed.  We have 4 kids, a son who is almost 8, a daughter who is almost 5, a 2 1/2 year old son, and a new(ish) baby girl who is 5 months old.  We've also been through 4 miscarriages and we know that our babies are in Heaven rejoicing with Jesus.  We long for the day that we get to meet them, and so do our children.  They find it pretty exciting that they've got brothers and/or sisters in Heaven already.
I wasn't raised a Christian.  Much the opposite in fact.  We went to church occasionally as a kid to a strict church-strict but lax at the same time.  Ritual-y I guess.  I don't ever remember learning that the KEY to our salvation, our only ticket to Heaven, is a relationship with Jesus Christ, our one and only Savior.  Maybe I missed it when they talked about it.  By highschool, I had completely abandoned any thoughts of a God for this world.  I was a vegetarian (fine for some, but it created some idol worship issues for me) and I would literally read my Bible (my aunt sent me a new one every few years) and rant and rave about the animal sacrifices.  It was a huge wedge preventing a relationship with Jesus for me.  A year into our relationship, my future husband and I were talking one day when I got word that a friend of mine had decided to be an athiest like me.  I felt victorious, like I'd won someone over finally.  I was really excited and told him so.  The way he looked at me cut completely through me.  I knew then that I had a real chance to lose him.  I was terrified, he was the BEST thing that had happened to me.  For the first time in my life, I was willing to listen to the truth about Jesus, and I did.  He witnessed, and I confessed.  It was like a veil was lifted from my eyes and I could finally see the TRUTH.  I had been witnessed to so many times before, but it fell on deaf ears.  I wasn't interested.  I wish I could say that getting saved changed my life immediately, but it was a slow journey.  I was locked into some really scary OCD/fear/anxiety issues at that time, but with the Lord's help I really worked through them and gave up a lot of my issues.  It's always awesome to improve your mental health, and I was so grateful.
My awesome guy and I grew closer together, and we got married a little over a year after that.  Unfortnuately, like I said, we weren't closely following the Lord and didn't experience an immediate transformation into...perfection (but who does?) and we conceived our oldest child 4 1/2 months before the wedding.  It's always *fun* when people figure that out, so it's just best to throw it out there and avoid the looks while they try to count out the months.  It's a blessing in disguise I suppose because it gives us a "hey, we did this and we want BETTER for your lives" conversation starter for when it comes time to talk the talk with the kids.
Besides being picked by this amazing guy to share his life and love forever, being a mom is the best thing ever!  These kids teach me lessons on a daily basis, and being a parent has taught me so much about Jesus and how He cares for us.  We made the decision right away that I would be a SAHM and have been so blessed in that respect.  It was extremely tight for the first few years...I can still hear those pennies squeal, but it was so worth it.  We're just now getting the ball rolling on buying a house in the next year or so.  Our vehicles are both almost 20 years old, but that's all worth it to me!  I've not missed out on any of my kids' firsts...it's a worthy trade-off for sure.

I wanted to make this blog because I guess I've had it "up to here" with how relationships are portrayed on tv and movies and all over.  Men are constantly beaten up by their "ball-busting" wives, disrespected, put down, and treated like idiots.  Women "wear the pants" in the family and are in charge of everything.  They can "take care of themselves" and don't need a man to help them with anything.  They seem to almost always work through their mothering years, putting their kids in daycare or hiring a nanny, I know that's exactly what happened in my house growing up.  I just don't feel like the rest of us, those of us who submit willingly and lovingly to our husbands and who willingly and lovingly stay home to raise our kids ourselves are being represented.  I want to encourage the women out there who aren't sure and reaffirm the women out there who already live this lifestyle.  It can be lonely sometimes when everyone around you looks down on your family for living the "old-fashioned" way.

Please don't take me the wrong way and think that I'm going to be preaching at you from my pedestal.  I am so far from perfect, it's not even funny (though I do wonder if sometimes in my stupidity if I make God laugh).  It's a journey...one that we can't finish until Jesus comes to take us all.  We'll never be perfect here in this life, but that doesn't mean that we can't make a conscious effort to try our hardest everyday.  Even if all we've done is wrong and awful all day (any other moms feel like that sometimes?  Raise your hand if you struggle with yelling or being too hard or soft on your kids), we can still do some good.  If your kids are in bed, write them a love note (or draw a picture for the non-readers) and leave it where they can find it in the morning.  Apologize as soon as you can and use the opportunity to talk about how we are all imperfect sinners and that Jesus loves us anyway.  I hope that this blog will be encouragement to someone.